


Imbecile, Idiot, Absolute Waste of Space.

by orphan_account



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Degradation, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Robotnik main tops and Stone main bottoms, Robotnik tops, Stobotnik sex baby!, Stone bottoms, degradation kink, they're both switches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:07:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23168995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Doctor Robotnik is angry, and Agent Stone has no idea why.But he's about to find out.
Relationships: Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik & Agent Stone, Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik/Agent Stone
Comments: 27
Kudos: 252





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ao3 work as well as my first stobotnik work,,, wOOH BABY, we're in for a ride.
> 
> i can't get this ship out of my head, so i NEEDED to write about it. please leave feedback if you feel fit!  
> also!!!! the sex is in the next chapter! i'm an idiot and made this two parts!

**"STONE! IF YOU AREN'T IN THIS OFFICE IN 5 MINUTES, YOU WILL BE REMOVED FROM YOUR POSITION FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY CHELOVEKONENAVISTNICHESTVO!*"**

Uh oh. That wasn't a good sign.

 _What did I do wrong this time?_ Agent Stone had done everything the doctor asked all day; he stood quietly, he brought him his signature latte, he even milked compliments until they ran dry. He'd been nothing but obedient... so what did he want now? 

With a nervous sigh, the agent rose from his own office chair, his steps quick and long as he made his way to the office, the _Robotnik Labs_ sign over the door looming over him ominously. He pressed his ear against the door - no sound, excluding the usual hums and beeps of machinery. He was in BIG trouble. Robotnik was NEVER silent.

He pushed the door open, replacing his worried face with a blank expression, the one he usually sported when he was on the job. He'd learned from years of experience, both with his government training and here in Robotnik Labs, that keeping a blank slate was the wisest thing to do. Especially around a temperamental, egotistical, completely... brilliant doctor.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Stone spoke, his voice softer than he expected. He crossed his hands in front of him as usual, taking a few more steps into the red, blue and white lights and closer to the chair the doctor was slumped down into. The door shut with a muffled thud behind the agent, making sure that nobody witnessed the emotional explosion the man was about to endure.

When Robotnik turned in his chair, Stone twitched on instinct; he'd expected things to go flying past him, or at least a legion of insults to be spit in his face. Rather, the doctor seemed quite collected, his face stern as ever, his hair just as neat. But his hands were gripping the arm rests so tightly that the agent could imagine how white his knuckles were, and his teeth were gritted, his jaw tense. _What was bothering him so much that he was past the point of yelling?_

Stone stood there, positioned a safe distance away from the chair, calm as ever.

Doctor Robotnik let go of the arm rests with the squeak of leather on leather, pushing the chair back against the desk behind him and standing, drawing his stance to his full height. His arm raised slowly, and Stone followed it with dull eyes. He knew exactly what he meant.

With a little huff, the agent put his hand on his chest, angling his body towards the metal walls of the workplace and shoving himself backwards, pressing his back against the wall so hard that he could feel the cool material through his suit jacket. Robotnik couldn't help but let a little smirk curl at the corner of his mouth, clearly amused at how compliant the man was. He waited for a second, then brought one of his hands down, firmly, on the wall beside Stone, the other reaching for his tie and taking hold of it. 

_Well, this is new,_ Stone thought, feeling his stomach do a flip as he looked from the hand on his tie to the doctor's face, now a mixture of anger and entertained. _Not that there was any objection, but..._

Agent Stone bit down on the inside of his cheek as Doctor Robotnik's jaw relaxed, one of his brows cocking up in an observant matter. _What was he doing? Is he playing around with me? Why did he need me so urgently?_

Then, he spoke, his voice low yet laced with anger and a little bit of something Stone couldn't quite decipher. All he knew was it sent a chill down his spine, as the doctor always managed to do.

"Imbecile, idiot, absolute waste of space."

If Stone didn't know how to keep good professionalism, he would have probably been weak in the knees.

He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and gave a brief nod, letting the doctor know that he was aware of this.

"Do you have any idea why you make me so unbelievably livid, Agent?"

Agent Stone shook his head, causing a little hum to escape from Robotnik's lips. He wrapped the tie around his knuckles once, drawing the agent off the wall just barely, inching him closer despite their already close proximity. _Does he know what he's doing?_

"Every single waking hour, you sit there, taking up valuable oxygen, feeding me compliments, being so disgustingly _stupid_ that it takes every fiber in my body to not give you the boot." Robotnik's lip curled with each word, his eyes gleaming devilishly. "You were groomed to please, Stone, and you do exactly that. It's PATHETIC." His grip on the tie became tighter, earning a little strangled gasp from the agent at his mercy. "Human beings, all so eager to exceed expectations. You disgust me, agent. But my machines... my machines ALWAYS live up to what I expect of them. Why do you try so hard to be a goddamn machine, Stone? YOU'RE NOTHING!"

"Yes sir," was all Stone said, his voice timid. This was normal, he reminded himself. He'd be berated, perhaps pushed, and then life in the laboratory would resume as usual, all of Robotnik's anger taken out on the agent. This was just routine.

"Yes sir, right away sir," the doctor repeated, his tone mocking as he growled low in his throat. _What in the **world** is wrong with him? _"PATHETIC!"

Stone had to admit, when Robotnik was fed up, he looked just as dastardly as he imagined himself to be. It hurt him in his very core, but in the greatest way possible. He released his grip on his cheek and bit harshly on his tongue instead, avoiding a follow-up comment and enduring the spiking pain in his mouth. His tie was getting looser by the minute, and by God did his neck hurt, but he... liked it.

_Maybe - no, you definitely are an idiot._

As if Robotnik could read his thoughts (which he didn't doubt he could; anything was possible with his brilliant machines) he let go of the agent's tie, sending him reeling back into the wall and hitting it with an "oof" sound. He was a bit stunned - what had put the doctor into this mood? Was it the situation with the quill he'd found? He was still waiting until he could make a full analysis of its energy, so that could be what was setting him off...

"What are you thinking about right now, Agent Stone?"

The question had set Stone off guard; he hadn't realized how close they still were. His face quickly turned from it's usual shade to a light red, embarrassment as evident as ever. _A lot of things, most of which you'd probably be revolted to hear,_ he thought to himself, trying to dig a viable answer out of his brain. _Idiot, idiot, idiot!_

"N-nothing, sir, just how right you are. As always, sir," Agent Stone stuttered, watching the doctor as he chuckled and pushed himself away from the wall, finally giving the agent room to breathe.

"This is why you can never be the perfect machine, Stone," Robotnik mused, looking down at the ground and shaking his head. Suddenly, just as Stone was fixing his tie and trying not to collapse, he slammed his fist against the wall and leaned in close to Stone's ear, his breath hot. If the agent wasn't red already, he was the color of the doctor's flight suit by now.

"You're a terrible liar."

_How did you know?_

"How did you know?"

"You look like you just swallowed a wrench, all red in the face like that. I don't need a robot to tell me that you're flustered, Agent Stone." Robotnik leaned away from his ear, cocking a brow.

Stone had thought he would be ready for more surprises, but when a knee landed against the wall right between his legs, he audibly yelped. Which clearly amused the doctor, because he smiled again, that smile that made you realize that something was about to happen, but you just didn't know what.

"Sir, I-I don't know what you want..." The agent stumbled over his words, plastered against the wall, helpless under Robotnik's hands. 

"Yes you do, Stone. And I know _exactly_ what you want."

Surprise after surprise; Stone couldn't believe it when the genius, the diabolical, excellent man that was Doctor Ivo Robotnik, pressed his mouth against Agent Aban Stone's, locking their lips and earning another astonished noise from the agent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Chelovekonenavistnichestvo, or Человеконенавистничество, is the Russian equivalent to "misanthropically," being compiled of the words "chelovek" (man) and "nenavist" (hatred). I figured I'd throw a Russian word in there for our Russian boy Egghead-


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robotnik releases all of his anger on Stone, and it ends up being more stress-relieving for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i decided to make this TWO chapters, one for the build up and one for the actual sex :) this corona quarantine is giving me time to write stobotnik shit and i'm here for it.  
> so here's the sex! please don't disown me for my terrible writing-

_This had to be a fever dream, right?_

It seemed like this was just a figment of Stone's imagination, but the feeling of Robotnik's lips on his, the sounds of leather as his fist unclenched, the pressure of his knee on Stone's crotch-

Oh my god. The pressure of his knee on Stone's crotch.

The agent couldn't help but let his eyes roll back and flutter closed, his brows still knitted together. He opened his mouth just slightly, moving in rhythm with the doctor's and even pressing back just a little bit more firmly. His mouth was so strangely warm, a sensation he hadn't felt in a long, long time.

After a few moments, the doctor retreated, exhaling deeply and taking a breath. Stone's eyes flew open as he registered that this wasn't, in fact, a dream. _Doctor Robotnik just kissed me. **Doctor Robotnik is applying pressure to my goddamn crotch.**_

Robotnik let a satisfied huff exit his nose, licking his bottom lip and looking the agent from top to bottom once again. He wasn't done with him yet, oh no. It would be a while before his business was all truly taken care of.

Stone could tell that he wasn't the only one enjoying this. Now _that_ came as a shock.

So, completely forgetting his lowly position, he grabbed the collar of the doctor's trench coat, barely noting the stupefaction on his superior's face as he initiated a second kiss, this one much deeper than the first, more hungry. Now that he'd had one taste, he knew he was in too deep; if the doctor wasn't going to finish what he started, then he would.

Plus, he had a hard-on now, which would suck to take care of on his own.

He thought he'd be pushed away at first, maybe even told to get the hell out of the office, but instead, his wrist was grabbed with a leather clad hand, removed from the collar of Robotnik's jacket and instead being moved to his lower back. Stone couldn't help but let out a noise of disappointment as the pressure on his groin was released, now leaving him aching and wanting more contact, _craving_ it.

He felt his tie come undone as Robotnik pulled on it, holding it in his fist as he pushed Stone back into the wall, applying pressure against his ever-growing erection with his hips. Feeling the doctor's bulge against his, Stone swallowed a moan, knowing there would be consequences if he wasn't quiet. He still had common decency, even when he was in this state, on the verge of completely unraveling.

Doctor Robotnik slipped his tongue fairly easily into Stone's mouth, his assistant's eagerness allowing easy access. He'd been irritable all day, and he finally had the agent right were he wanted him. This moronic bastard, now crumbling so easily with just a touch.

Humans and their emotions. Disgustingly adorable, like a rat or a guinea pig.

Agent Stone made a soft noise of pleasure, his hips rolling slightly forward against Robotnik's as the doctor dropped his coat on the floor. Too many layers. He pulled his lips away from Stone's and watched as his eyes fluttered open, half-lidded, his eyebrows coming together in that worried way.

"Patience is a virtue, Agent," Robotnik murmured, pushing the suit jacket off of Stone's shoulders and going in to the neck, listening to the little huffs and gentle, anticipatory moans that he made under his mouth. It was almost - _almost_ \- as satisfying to hear as the word "sir."

The agent's face relaxed again as Robotnik started with the top button of his shirt, the cold air of the laboratory hitting the freshly exposed skin. Robotnik watched as goosebumps appeared on Stone's collarbones and wrists, a little shiver jolting the man and making him press just a little more against the doctor's painful erection.

Let's just say he handled Agent Stone's buttons a little quicker.

He admired his skin as he let Stone pull his own shirt off and onto the floor, humming in satisfaction and watching as the agent looked him up and down, his eyes hazy with euphoria and expectation. He had to admit; Agent Stone had beautiful skin.

_What would it look like covered in marks?_

The doctor grew more excited at the thought, barely able to tolerate the feeling of his own shirt on his back. He wanted Stone, _needed_ him badly, and he'd waited too long for the right moment to let it go to waste.

"Iv-Ivo, please..."

He sounded so needy, like he couldn't leave unless they got some action in. Robotnik had never, not once in their time of being partners, seen Stone beg, and by God did he wish to see it more.

"First name basis, hm, agent?" Robotnik dipped in close to the agent's ear, practically growling at him as he started to undo his own belt. "I never said you could address me by anything but-"

"-sir." They spoke in unison, one voice definitely breathier than the other, but still in unison.

"Good to know you listen well despite being so fucking stupid," he muttered in Stone's ear, feeling an increase in his heart rate and breathing. "And you _like it_ when I call you names?" He chuckled, pulling his belt off and discarding it with the heap of clothing already on the ground. "Disgusting," he said, watching Agent Stone nod and curl his hands into fists. He could tell that the agent was now becoming irritable, the fabric on his hard-on becoming less of a stimulating experience and more of a nuisance.

So he grabbed Agent Stone by the belt loops and flipped him, a sharp gasp coming from the startled man as his palms hit the metal wall. The doctor grabbed the buckle of the agent's own belt and unfastened it, taking no time to pull on the waistband of both his slacks and briefs. _That_ was when Stone gasped, feeling his aching erection finally be let free.

Robotnik liked the sound of that.

He dropped his own dress pants and ran one of his hands up the agent's back from his waist, feeling how incredibly smooth, how _beautiful_ it was. This wasn't the first time he'd admired him, no, but it was the first time he'd been so close while doing it. Always from afar, always through so many layers, never taking a good look at how damn stunning he was. Now, he wasn't an affectionate man - he HATED feelings, making him vulnerable and so HUMAN - but he did think that Aban Stone, a humble assistant, was probably one of the most gorgeous people alive.

That was enough sappiness for now. He was hard and he needed to cum, and Agent Stone was perfect for the job.

He pulled out his throbbing cock, moving his hips in slightly to tease his - _his_ \- agent's entrance, feeling his stomach move inwards as he breathed inwards, a gentle whine following as he exhaled. Robotnik dug his fingers deep into the tissue of his shoulder, the hand that was still on Stone's waist digging in as well as he pushed his dick in, no preparation, the agent yelping as he did. 

As he began to thrust, Robotnik's pace started to just gradually grow quicker, the feeling of his skin on Stone's a sensation he hadn't felt in quite some time. He wanted to savor this moment, as it was rare, and just listen to the noises of pleasure the agent made, becoming louder the longer he was inside him.

Clearly, Stone had other plans, because he pressed his ass farther against the doctor's length, groaning breathily as he went deeper.

"Fuck, doctor, I..." He was cut off by an increase in speed, Robotnik's nails curling farther into the skin of Stone's shoulder as he leaned in close to his ear. He wanted the agent to hear his soft grunts as he fucked him, knowing damn well that he didn't care for "workplace etiquette" anymore.

That was long gone.

Robotnik curled his tongue in his mouth as he watched the agent's hands, one furling into a fist while the other stayed flat against the wall for balance. He was tense; the doctor could feel it in his shoulders, and he took it as a good sign. The deeper and quicker he went, he added a bit of shoulder kneading, his palm moving in time with his hips and giving Stone a little relief.

Clearly, he liked it, because the moan that followed afterwards was enough to bring the doctor right to the edge.

Words that sounded like "holy shit" were covered up by more sounds of Stone's leisure, mixing with Robotnik's own grumbles and huffs to make a cacophony of pleasurable noises, the agent's head arcing down and his eyes fluttering shut. In a fit of elation, he arched backwards just a little farther, the contact between the duo's skin sending a tingling sensation up their spines, together.

With an exasperated sigh from the doctor and a loud, lingering moan from the agent, they came together and hard, panting erratically as they felt the very edge of their high.

Robotnik pulled out a bit hesitantly, tucking his dick back into his briefs and letting go of his tight grip on Stone, observing the nail marks he'd left with slightly hazy but satisfied eyes. He took an unsteady step backwards as he bent down, pulled his slacks back on, and began to refasten his belt, turning away from the imbecile he called an agent.

"Clean up, Stone," he said over his shoulder, clearing his throat and sweeping his jacket up from the floor, "Your mess, your responsibility."

With a smirk on his face and that evil glint back in his ravishing eyes, he shrugged his coat on and walked out of the door to _Robotnik Labs,_ leaving Aban with a pile of clothing, a mess of cum on the wall, and a slightly goofy, but excited, grin.

_**I was just fucked by Doctor Ivo Robotnik.** _

Stone's mind ran as he adjusted his appearance in the mirror he'd made from a screen in the office, brushing lint off the shoulder of his jacket and tightening the tie around his neck. He had a triumphant sort of look upon his face as he spun on his heel. 

_Bet that isn't a thing a lot of ex-government agents get to say. "My boss was angry, so he had sex with me, and it was AMAZING."_

~~_Maybe it'll happen again?_ ~~

"But then again," he mumbled, pushing the door open with his sore shoulder and trekking back to his own small office, "maybe I'm just an imbecile, an idiot, an absolute waste of space."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this definitely seemed longer than the "foreplay," but like. if y'all want aftercare. lmk.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Robotnik's blow-up, Stone has some unfinished business to take care of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know y'all asked for aftercare, and this isn't rEaLlY aftercare, but it IS a lot of homoerotic, emotional stuff about... current events. this will probably be the last chapter for this BUT!!! I HAVE TWO SHORT STOBOTNIK STORIES PLANNED!! so like, stay tuned.

The next day, Agent Stone didn't know how to feel.

Unsurprisingly, his physical status wasn't great - his backside ACHED, so now he walked with a limp and couldn't sit without feeling like he was pressing needles to his ass. But his emotional status... that was complicated. He didn't feel any _bad_ emotions, per se, but he wasn't on top of the world either.

Actually, that was a lie. He was, in fact, delighted, and he just hated to admit it to himself. Besides the point.

He was such a mess that he'd been doing all the little things he usually did perfectly wrong -he'd added too much milk to the usual latte, tied his tie off-kilter, stuttered or interrupted when Robotnik asked him something, setting every tiny detail that was essential to the doctor's perfect criteria slightly off. He _loathed_ himself for it, cursing Robotnik and his ability to do everything flawlessly, all thanks to having very little care for emotions.

Or so it seemed.

So that evening, the agent decided to confront the man. He just couldn't take having so many unanswered questions and having so much unresolved tension still left between them. He could feel it; the air was so thick with it, he could practically taste it.

The best time, Agent Stone figured, would be when he was just conniving to himself in his favorite chair, that one rolling one he spent so much time in. That's when he'd be the most in his thoughts, and the most prone to giving solid, genuine answers. Feet kicked up on his desk, hands folded, body slumped... just like he'd found him yesterday. **Marvelous**.

Stone's body was tense as he paced back and forth in front of the heavy door to the _Robotnik Labs_ office, wincing slightly with every step. He lifted his shaking hands to fix his tie out of habit, taking a few quick but deep breaths.

"Hello sir, sorry to bother you, but..." He muttered, cursing himself under his breath and inhaling through his nose. "Doctor Robotnik, sir! I just wanted to shed some light o-on a few things, if you..." He silently screamed at himself, balling his hand into a fist and bringing it down on his thigh. _What is the matter with me?_

Eventually, after a solid six minutes of pacing, frustrated groans, tie adjustments and a very rapid pep talk, he pushed the heavy door open with his palm, greeted with the same sight of blue, red and white lights, all but one of the massive screens occupying the room darkened. _He's listening to music,_ Stone observed, seeing the _Tunes of Anarchy_ playlist open and playing on max volume. _Headphones in, lost in thought... he'll be pissed._

He crept in quietly, every little noise the metal floor made making him cringe. If he lost his job today, at least he had the glory of being the first assistant to be absolutely spitroasted by Ivo Robotnik. Just the thought made him smirk a little.

Stone kept a close watch on the screen, seeing one song come to its end and stopping in his tracks. He was so close. A couple more steps, and he could just tap him on the shoulder-

"I know you're behind me, Agent Stone. Sensors in my gloves alerted me that there was an increase of body temperature in the room."

The agent's breathing stopped as Robotnik lifted a hand, pausing his music and turning in the chair, a snide expression on his face.

"It's impressive how advanced I've become, isn't it?" He asked, putting a hand up as soon as Stone opened his mouth. "The question was rhetorical, you dimwit. I know how damn impressive I am." The doctor pulled the headphones off his head, laying them on the desk behind him and curling his fingers around the arms of the chair.

Stone gulped. He was definitely in trouble, and not the kind that ended in sex.

"Y-yes sir, very impressive sir, as always," The agent stumbled over his words, a mix of nervous emotions fluttering across his face as Robotnik rose from his chair and drew himself to his full height. Being four inches taller than Stone, the doctor was terrifying.

"Now, clearly, Stone, you wanted something from me." Robotnik said, holding his hand up and pressing it against the agent's chest, letting his sensors work some stats out. Just this little amount of contact was enough to make Stone's knees go wobbly, and he hated it. _It was a one time thing. One time, and now you're letting yourself be vulnerable every single time he lays a hand on you?_

As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, the doctor's hand grabbed his jaw firmly, snapping his mouth closed and forcing a muffled yell from the agent. With a forceful yank forward, the pair were nose to nose, making it hard for Stone to hide his crimson coloring.

"I already know what you want, you blithering fool." Robotnik went into a whisper-yell, his tone simmering with anger and knowing. "Who do I look like, an imbecile? You came here to talk feelings. You wanted to know how I _felt_ about the shenanigans we pulled last night, didn't you?"

Stone had no chance to nod, of course; the doctor pressed his fingers harder into his jawbone, a throaty chuckle passing his lips as he watched fear - no, something else - flicker in the agent's eyes.

"You're adorable. A fucking idiot, but adorable."

"Yes si- what?"

Robotnik grinned widely as a look of evident confusion spread across Stone's face, his brows knitting like they always did when he was concerned. With a laugh, he released his harsh grip on the agent's jaw and pushed him back, sending him reeling backwards and clambering to regain balance.

"Just because I've purposely shut out the ability to feel human emotions doesn't mean they don't slip through sometimes, Agent Stone." It was true. It had been a long time since he'd let himself feel again, _truly_ feel again, years and years. But ever since Stone had started working for him... he'd had thoughts and experienced feelings he didn't even think he had anymore. Some were more aggressive than others (which could be interpreted by different people) and some were more tender, but he was becoming more of a human than ever. He hated it, but he was, and sometimes, it was wonderful.

Most times, though, it was awful, mostly because he had so many feelings towards Aban Stone that he couldn't handle himself most days.

"Yesterday, agent, I was... in my own head, let's just say. I wasn't exactly thinking straight-" He almost chuckled at himself on that one, "-and I let myself go. Which, at first, I thought it was the most stupid thing I have ever done, and that's coming from me." Robotnik took a step backwards, collapsing back into his chair and slumping back down. "But now that I reminisce on it, maybe... maybe it wasn't so terrible."

He'd never been this sentimental in his forty-five years of existence, and he had mixed feelings about it.

"I hate to be vulnerable, Stone, and you _know_ this, but this feels right." If you were paying attention, which the doctor hoped the agent wasn't, his demeanor softened just a bit, his voice becoming less brash and his face unraveling into something sweeter. "I regret nothing from yesterday, and, I might as well say it, you're goddamn **_gorgeous_** , Aban. I may be smarter than you, and you may just be a lowly assistant, but you're the first person out of at least twenty who's been so _**wonderful**_."

He'd said it. His heart was out of his chest, his emotions were obvious, and he regretted nothing. Even now, he felt no bad repercussions.

Well, almost. Then he saw the strange look on Agent Stone's face and felt the worst emotion he'd ever felt in his entire life.

The strange look on Stone's face was not what Robotnik thought it was; it wasn't disgusted, or angry, or confused, no.

He was just speechless, mostly because his boss had just taken his breath - and the words - right out of his body.

The pure vulnerability and honesty Robotnik was exuding right now was downright amazing, and Stone had never been more pleasantly surprised in his life. _He just dumped his entire human soul - or what's left of it - out for me. **For me.**_ His heart was racing in his chest, and though he couldn't see himself, he felt his face contort into an expression of bewilderment and happiness. Was there an emotion for that? He didn't care.

He needed to do something, and if he didn't do it now, this entire, sentimental moment would spiral down the drain.

Stone stood up straight, adjusted his tie, took three confident strides forward, and with a quiet but shaky inhale, got down on one knee. Then, cracking a smile, he bit down on his bottom lip, admiring the new look of confusion on Robotnik's face.

"Kiss me, you madman."

The doctor dropped his jaw, but before he could snap out of his stupor, Stone leaned in, initiating a deep but gentle kiss on his lips.

"I'll do it myself," he muttered, pulling away after a second or so and listening to Robotnik's noises of confusion.

"Stone, what in the he-"

"Ivo. I may be an idiot, and a waste of space, and an imbecile, and a cretin, but I'm also human, and so are you. We feel emotions, whether we like it or not, and right now, all I'm feeling is one thing, and that's admiration." Stone stood up, crossing his arms across his chest and looking down at the puzzled man. "You're feeling something, sir, and though I might not be in the position to say this, I have such a deep admiration for what you just did. _**Proud.**_ This is corny to say, and if I get fired, I get fired. But it needed to be said."

Now he was spilling his guts. What was this, a 90s rom-com?

That didn't matter, because as soon as Robotnik grabbed his tie and pulled him down into another kiss, he stopped worrying about cheesiness.

"Remind me to never open up to you," the doctor muttered against the agent's lips, pulling his gloves off and laying on hand on the man's cheek, the other holding him in his lap.

"I'll make sure to make a note of that, sir," the agent responded. This was it. This was his peak, and he was content.

Maybe he'd get a promotion to official right hand man.

No. Robotnik wasn't the type to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT'S IT. SOME SOFT BOYS FOR THE END OF THIS SHORT BOOK.  
> normally, i wouldn't write robotnik as an "emotional character" like most tend to do, as that isn't really true to his "arrogant evil genius" persona. but for this, i made an exception, mostly because i'm feeling REALLY self-indulgent tonight as i'm finishing this.  
> so yeah! thank you for reading, and again, stay tuned for more stobotnik, maybe some dirk gently's holistic detective agency stuff, and maybe some ineffable husbands? i'm everywhere man.
> 
> also, future note: my friend just said that stone is TECHNICALLY robotnik's right hand man because robotnik doesn't use his right hand to masturbate anymore, and i...


End file.
